


Writing to feel better

by Lynn_Forster



Series: Tumblr Requests [8]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Everybody Lives, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn_Forster/pseuds/Lynn_Forster
Summary: TUMBLR PROMPT from AnonJesper has a bad period, he tries to keep his feelings quiet, but ends up having an outburst. Wylan comforts him and helps him to feel better.
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Series: Tumblr Requests [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865095
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Writing to feel better

**Author's Note:**

> Here a Wesper Prompt!  
> The original character, Fiona, belongs to my friend Arya.  
> Hope you'll like it, thanks to everyone who will read!
> 
> Lynn

When he entered the house, Jesper rapidly and silently walked towards the staircase, hoping Wylan wouldn't have heard him.  
He didn't want to make him worry and he was terrible at lying about his feelings. Wy would have immediately noticed something was wrong with him.  
He had almost reached the first floor, when the redhead's voice called for him.  
"Hey, Jes!"  
The sharpshooter felt his own heart sink. He grabbed the handrail, closing his eyes and sighing.  
"Jes?"  
Jesper turned his head, trying to put a fake smile on: "Hey, Wy. How was your day?"  
"Good" the younger boy replied, slowly reaching him. "I received a letter from Nina and Matthias... I waited for you to read it, but... are you okay?"  
"I..." an unpleasant lump started to torment the tall boy's throat.  
"I need to stay alone, sorry..."  
He ran into his room (well... their room) and he laid face down on the bed, hiding his face on the mattress and letting a suffocate cry out, his hands clenching his thick, black curls.  
Those days had been horrible. And he tried, he tried to hide all his sadness and frustration, but his negative feelings eventually found a way to burst out.  
He thought it would have been a great idea, starting the university again, he thought he would have been able to handle studies, the training of his Grisha abilities and the business he and Wylan managed together.  
For the first period he actually did a very good job but, during the last weeks, he started to struggle.  
It was quite hard, to him, sitting for hours on a desk, trying to listen to the lesson while his mind was distracted by thousands, different stimuli and his thoughts were mostly about the training that was waiting for him in the afternoon. He followed the professor's words for the first, few minutes, and he ended up wondering what Fiona, his Materialki teacher, had prepared for him.  
And, after lesson, he felt guilty for having pay a little attention and his sense of guilt had soon started to affect his training.  
He kept on like this for days, until that afternoon, where he had an outburst and ended up arguing with Fiona.  
The woman was a very good teacher. She was a bit severe, but always just, and much more empathetic than she seemed. Jesper knew she was only there to help him and she didn't deserve his rage and frustration.  
_I ruined everything,_ he thought. _I ruined everything, as usual. I'm a disaster...  
_“Jes...”  
The boy tried to wipe his tears, without changing his position. Wylan laid next to him, his hands rubbing the older boy's back.  
“Jes, what happened?”  
The Fabrikator sniffled: “I am a failure, okay? I am a pathetic, useless, incompetent being, that's what happens! I try, Wy, okay? I always try to do something good, but I always fail, I cannot help but disappoint everyone who cares about me! I am unable to follow a single lesson without getting lost in my thoughts. I am making messes during the training and I am a terrible student to Fiona! I bet she will kick me out of her class, after what I yelled her today! And she would be right! If I were her, I wouldn't lose my time with an ungrateful idiot! I... I...”  
He hid his face against Wylan's shoulder, bursting into tears. They hugged, laid on the bed, Wylan's hands gently caressing his hair and back.  
He let Jesper vent his tears and frustration for a while, then, he started talking him in a soft, gently manner.  
“It's a bad period, Jes... it can happen to anyone. It doesn't mean you're failing or disappointing anyone.”  
“Fiona was mad” the boy sobbed. “She's disappointed for sure...”  
“I'm sure Fiona believes in you. Like your father does. Like I do. Like my mother and our friends do. We all know the wonderful person you are, Jes. We cannot learn, if we never commit any mistakes. And we wouldn't be humans. Hey, you know what? We can try a little trick Inej taught me: I'll bring you a copybook and a pencil and you'll write short letters to anyone you want. And in each letter, you will tell one or more of your painful thoughts, explaining what has happened, why do you feel like this and then adding a little positive thing. Meanwhile, I'll make you some tea.”  
Jesper rubbed his eyes with his hands, then, he sighed: “Okay.”  
  
  
to write the negative thoughts on the first part of the letters, while he struggles a lot trying to find a positive thing to add.  
Sitting at the dining table, Jesper soon filled several paper sheets.  
He wrote his first letter to his dad, saying how demotivate he felt about his studies, and he closed it with _“But I'm happy we'll come to visit you next week.”_  
He then wrote to Inej, to Fiona, to Kuwei, to Kaz, to Nina, to Matthias and, eventually, to Wylan.  
His boyfriend sat next to him, giving him gentle caresses, hugs and kisses every time Jes stopped to take a break and a tear ran down his cheek.  
Somehow, writing down his thoughts, imagining his beloved ones' encouraging answers and taking pleasurable sips of hot tea, he felt his anxiety fading and he struggled less to find something positive to write.  
_“Inej, I'm happy you will come to Ketterdam next month. Fiona, I am happy because you taught me how to stop several bullets at once into mid air. Kuwei, I'm happy your training is going well. Kaz, I'm happy you finally admitted you miss Inej, last evening. Nina, I'm happy because tomorrow morning I'll eat waffles and I'll think of you. Matthias, I'm happy you and Nina are making progresses in you mission. Wy, I'm happy I have you by my side.”_  
“Come here” he whispered, once he finished, patting on his own knees. “Come here, Wy.”  
Wylan sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around the Fabrikator's neck and rubbing their noses together.  
“Do you feel better?”  
“A bit” Jesper answered. “Maybe I would feel even better with this...”  
He gently kissed the redhead's soft lips, holding him closer, while Wylan cupped his face with his hands.  
“I love you...”  
“I love you too, Jes. And I know you will never fail me. We have each other and, every time we'll fall, we will be able to rise again together.”  
Jesper tried to add something, when the doorbell rang.  
He felt quite surprised, seeing a well-built woman in her forties on the threshold.  
“Fiona?” he said.  
The teacher gave him a polite nod: “Hi, Jes. I hope I'm not disturbing.”  
“Oh... no, I was... I was drinking some tea with Wylan and... do you want to come in?”  
“No, thanks, I have some commissions to do. But I thought about your difficulties at the university, when you have to sit at your desk and stay still for one or two hours. I knew a boy who had your same problem and he found useful having his hands busy during a lesson. That's why I brought you this.”  
She gave him a little, wooden cube, with little push-buttons on each face.  
“Let's try it and tell me if you find it useful too.”  
“Oh... thank you... I...”  
He sighed: “Fiona, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have behaved like that, this afternoon...”  
Fiona smiled, giving him a gentle pat on his shoulder: “It's okay. We all have bad moments. Take care. Hope tomorrow afternoon things will be better.”  
  
  
  
  
“Who was it?” Wylan asked, once Jesper came back to the diningr room.  
“It was Fiona” the sharpshooter answered, sitting next to his boyfriend. “She... she isn't mad at me... and she didn't kick me out of her class.”  
Wylan smiled, kissing his cheek: “See? She wouldn't lose her time with a failure. She knows you can do it.”  
Jesper gently caressed the younger boy's cheek, playing with Fiona's cube with the free hand.  
“So” he finally said. “Didn't Nina and Matthis write us? I can't wait to read some news from them...”  
  



End file.
